Before assuming yourself a novelty….you better fucking be a fucking novelty!

Welcome fucktards!

Been a busy week, but been an angry week too.

So instead of being angry at all other things in the world, today I will be angry at…..Gold Diggers!

Greatest Living Gold Digger of our time

Lately I find myself getting utterly disgusted and sick of so many bitches these days who take things for granted.

Everyday I turn on the radio, I browse the net, I read stuff, I see the same shit…shit that has brainwashed a GREAT fucking chunk of humanity for the last fucking century. People are getting delusional with the advent of mainstream advertising, planting shit into our brains telling us we need stuff that we are already living pretty fucking well without!

Here's a shining example

But of course, the stupid faggotpad is something I would discuss in the near future…on how it breeds stupidity. Today however, my focus is on fucking bitches who think the fucking world owes them some shit….and treat people as if people owe them shit.

Due to the faggotization of men around the world, the fucking bitch population have sadly increased tenfolds….compared to those days when we think “bitch” we will point to people like McCartney’s ex wife or something…these days…we just don’t know where to point…we are surrounded by bitches for cryin out loud!

Sorry bitch, you are just not unique anymore!

Bitches these days are spoilt by nature, treated like fucking princesses by their fucking stupid,naive and fucktard parents. These said princesses come out to the world believing they are REAL fucking princesses think they deserve to be treated like fucking godesses when what they do not fucking realize is that, they are as fucking ugly as a fucking Rhinoceros on crack! Correction : I would rather fuck a rhinoceros on crack!

Exhibit A thinks she's Charlize Theron

Now what do these bitches do? They find the perfect victim..usually in the form of a world class faggot or an unsuspecting guy who thinks he should just try being a nice guy and they start treating him like their very own faggot prince they bought from Faggots R Us. They treat these boys like shit, cheat on them at times, and then expect the boys to treat them like the fucking princesses they are….last but not least they start plotting to live on the poor faggots’ paycheck and life…slowly sucking away the life of the faggot until the faggot has no life, then bitches would say “oh you are not providing for me” and move on to the next available faggot…cause there’s always a faggot ready somewhere nearby!

What do these bitches want??? wow, they want so many shit from guys, without moving a fucking toe!!!

They demand so many shit from the guys like :

1. If you gonna marry me, buy me a house!

2. If you gonna marry me, get me those rocks bitch!

3. If you gonna marry me, give me your balls

4. Forget marriage , just be my slave!

Yeap….all these apply…

What I don’t understand is…what is the significance of all these when you fucking bitches ALWAYS scream “EQUALITY!!!!”….when you scream equal rights, it means you must be able to buy or share the house, you don’t need a fucking rock for the guy to prove shit to you…and you certainly do not need his balls for cryin out loud!

But no…they think they are above the world! Despite the fact they are probably the ugliest piece of shit from the neighborhood!

Ugly Bitch!...oh wait....

And they demand from guys, keeping in mind it wasn’t the guys that are jumping to be with them, they are the ones FORCING the guys to be with them, so that they can be given all the shit they want,FOR A RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY FORCIBLY ESTABLISH! They intensely establish the fact that the faggot needs to marry them or be their slave without the faggot moving a pinky and then they start putting all the fucking conditions in front!!! INTENSELY!!!!

INTENSE!

And of course, why blame the bitches when the faggots so READILY hand their fucking balls to the waiting hands of the said bitches just like that!

If only these fuckers would hand in their life in the same manner to save the planet, the world would be a wonderful place!

And at least what this guy sang would FINALLY make sense!

Here’s what I think of these bitches :

1. They are disgusting

2. They are fucked up

3. They need to OPEN THEIR FUCKING EYES!

4. They need to snap back to reality

5. They should also probably kill themselves!

I fucking get disgusted hearing this shit over and over again, how bitches demand shit from their guys who already are working to make the relationship well, yes not all guys are great, and you can demand from the not so great guys as compensation…but for guys that are already providing, what the fuck are you demanding somemore for? Fuck you bitches!

I fucking hate bitches who think the world owes them shit…WAKE THE FUCKING UP SLUTS!!!! the world does not fucking owe you anything unless you are this woman!

She's the greatest woman in the planet and yes the world owes her!!! NOT YOU!

As for guys, WAKE THE FUCKING UP as well!!!

If a bitch pulls some shit like I mentioned above, FUCKING LEAVE!

Why? simple, out of the billions of women in the world, this one bitch isn’t meant for you, and there are so many other fucking bitches to choose from…remember the phrase “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”?…yes it’s true cause if you come out to reality and take a good fucking look, you will realize “OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE’S PLENTY OF FUCKING FISH IN THE FUCKING SEA”!!!!

Now imagine if those fishes were blond bombshells dropping on you!

I hope guys all around will open their fucking eyes and live a man’s life.

Remember :

1. Don’t live for others, you are your own man

2. Don’t be a slave when an unqualified bitch asks you to be one, even if she qualifies (a.k.a Charlize Theron), remember this…she isn’t superhuman or a god figure, she poops and bleeds just like you fuckheads! she probably farts louder too!

3. Equality..understand the word….don’t let anyone push you around using that word

4. Live with honor, you don’t suck on people’s life, and don’t let people suck on your life

5. If bitches practice their rights to be choosy bitches, you have a right to be a choosy asshole!

6. Be ready to fuck off when the bitch becomes a fucktard….remember…fucktard = fuck off

And all this will lead you to be the man you are always meant to be

You are meant to be THIS!

Also bitches, please do realize, you do not look anywhere near Charlize Theron in order to think you deserve some massive shit from the world :

I sooooooooo missed you Charlize!!!!

So guys please do realize this, a bitch who demands from you does not deserve it, yes there are proper women out there, take your time and don’t rush just because a bitch decides it’s time to rush things…it’s your fucking dick, do what you want with it!

And Remember, knowing is half the battle you twits!

Yesssssssssss you twitssssssssssss!

Till then

 

Fuck Off!

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Nut Gain ++

I was busy this week and was working at some oil town implementing systems when I got this wonderful news…well it’s a good and bad news….There’s a sequel to Final Fantasy XIII called….Final Fantasy XIII-2….duh!

It’s bad cause well the game wasn’t really a big hit with many people but at the same time it was good in some sense.

The good? Lightning…she’s back…OMG…hotter than ever….I am in love!

Dear Lightning, if you were real, I would be your greatest stalker you've ever known....Love, Postal Nerd!

Yeap….I have no way to calculate the amount of affection I have for Lightning eventhough she’s not real….LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Alright let’s leave my boner for a virtual girl out of the door and discuss something really important…nuts!

*ehem*

Over the weekend before leaving for my dreaded Oil Town job, I caught a new flick starring the Tooth Fairy…I mean the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson! It’s called Faster!…yeap strange name for a movie but you know what, despite that, I am so glad the movie worked out fine for me.

I mean first and foremost, I knew The Rock since his WWE days when he used to do that weird eyebrow thing and left me feeling all mixed up for no reason.

I bet Adam Lambert can't do this shit

Then of course he went into movies where he made his appearance as some crappy Scorpion King and all, where the only thing worth watching in those movies were either Kelly Hu’s funbags or this guy’s abs….depends on which party you are.

Welcome to the party!

Of course those weren’t so bad, I mean I wouldn’t bitch about the chance of unlimited views of Kelly Hu’s cleavages and all…but then things went downhill for this guy.

He started starring in roles that even my cats thought were too pussy for them!

Pussy!

It came to a point I just looked at this guy as a faggot with muscles…I wonder if he was ever able to hit me for real!

Those days were long gone btw

So I basically wrote off this guy, forgot about him and started focusing on other possible talents….and then I realized there aren’t many talents out there these days…

Pictured : "Talent"

And then to my surprise he(The Rock…not Bieber) appeared for a shortwhile in The Other Guys…awesome shit movie..and a short lived badassery by The Rock!

I felt there’s hope after all for this masculine testosterone dripping man to make his name and me to look at him with pride that there ARE MEN AFTER ALL!!

But of course these are also MEN in my books!

And then finally….he appears in Faster….Forget testosterone…..he was one giant walking set of NARDS…..!

He perpetually looks like this in the movie, like Kratos in the whole friggin God Of War series

Here’s my review

Faster is a straightforward action movie, very old school flavored movie, literally not much nonsense..,..

The plot :

Dude comes out of jail and goes on a crazy shooting spree in the name of revenge cause some shit happened to him and his brother years ago….he’s angry….like all the time….Also..they got Moon Bloodgood!

Ladies, being hot alone isn't enough, you will also need a badass name from now on! Gay names like Scarlett won't cut it no more!

So the movie is simple, there’s no complicated storylines…not that I am sayin complicated storylines are bad….Inception is an example of a movie that will fuck your mind and still be awesome…but you see, that’s cause they have a talented guy handling it. Most UNtalented shitfucks try to make some epic shit which turns out to be shit anyway, cause they are just plain shit!

*ehem**ehem*...oh hai there shitfuck!

So the base of it is yes he’s angry, he drives a classic muscle car around with a revolver the size of an autobot’s dick! He goes around, look at his target, does not stop to speak bullshit like “oooo u are a bad guy, I am gonna kill you, wah wah” and does not have any stupid punch lines that’s supposed to double up as a pun….

If this guy ain't the king of Puns...what is ?

And then along the way you find out there’s a cop, his hot wife or girlfriend or whatever she is…she is hot anyway…and then a pretty boy assassin and his err…..hot wife…a bunch of bad guys….actually everyone’s bad here….and then guns….knives….the whole 9 yards!

The rock’s script is probably only a page long or less since I don’t really hear this guy talk much….he speaks like a couple of words and then shoots the shit out of people….kind of like how the ideal Sylvester Stallone is….

Not that I am saying he should shut up, but I just don't understand a thing he says!

By the way, the three main characters in this movie has no name, so we refer to them as Driver,Cop and Killer.

So the Driver is well..the driver…an angry looking Rock with the gun the size of an Autobot’s dick like I mentioned earlier, with a script of less than a page.

He probably even ate up the script in his rage

And then we have the cop, who may be familiar to some people here, but some dipshits won’t even recognize this stud!

Hint : He got THERE way before Brad Pitt did!

And then we have Killer….who looks eerily alike to Chesty Jake (pre Taylor Swift era)

He was the prettiest in the movie by the way

So we start with Driver going around killing people, and then Killer getting a mysterious call as a contract to kill Driver before he kills everyone else and Cop working out the case with some MILF!

Daaayyyyyummmn!!!!

Of course we get some side stories to quickly explain and introduce everyone to us.

Cop has some problems like drugs and also an illogically hot wife…although we do know what a stud that guy was in real life!

In case you people didn't get the hint earlier

And then we have Driver who is perpetually pissed all the time.

I see the resemblance now

And then probably the most hilarious part is when we are introduced to Killer…who so happens to be Mark Zuckerberg + Chesty Jake + Sam Fisher all in one.

Mother's Recipe for a perfect Assassin....

Killer also obsesses over Driver….cause Driver is so Pure and everything…to the point it looks almost like Gay obsession….then again I can’t blame him…he’s so pretty…prettier than his wife to be…and he sees a guy with arms the size of tree barks….

Killer's wife....who despite being hot, isn't as pretty as Killer

And then the story well goes on from there…and a twist appears too…not too bad for a straightforward movie, it throws you away with a twist which is well placed.

The sound in the movie is pretty awesome, especially when Driver’s revolver starts making noise….holy shit!

The music is pretty old styled, giving the movie a 70s feel to it…I like it personally.

The performances, well it’s a straight out action movie…you don’t need Daniel Day Lewis here but the cast here performed extremely well to their credit.

Kudos to Oliver Jackson-Cohen for almost stealing the show as a Mentally unstable Pretty and talented assassin with some OCD problems and all…he was hilarious…we needed that in a movie where the protagonist is angry all the time!

Billy Bob Thornton is just good, he doesn’t need to inject anything more, the dude’s a natural, he knows how to look shitty when the time requires him to, and knows how to look his role when the time needs him to.

And the other cast were equally good too, no complaints about them.

And finally Mr.Rock….impressive, eventhough he only had one impression on his face the whole time. His presence definitely had an impact, he’s large, he’s angry and he has a gun that’s bigger than your thighs….that’s scary….at times after looking at him, you realize being in a room with pazuzu ain’t that bad actually.

If u think this is scary, wait till you end up in a room with an Angry Dwayne Johnson!

The greatest thing about this movie though is the action sequence, which are NOT done in CG AT ALL!!!!! Which makes it so fucking authentic and badass….unlike some full CGI action movie we’ve seen lately!

Recipe for crap : Shitty CGI and Shia Labeouf

So I give it a high rating, go fucking watch it unless you are disgusted by violence and men being real men! Then you faggots should continue watching your Bieber concerts and Twilight Marathons!

Britney sez it all!

So till then

Fuck Off

 

Nut Loss : Part Deux

The past year has been steadily annoying with this particular chipmunk like voice on radio, where the voice is owned by one of the greatest piece of irritating shit in the history of entertainment.

And how low have u sunk dear Usher

I kept listening to the same shit all year where people were brainlessly repeating the parrot like lyrics this piece of shit kept moaning like an injured chipmunk over the radio….people are that stupid..cause they keep repeating the same words again again…I mean it’s ok for one retard to act like a retard, but millions of retards following one retard? Who’s the bigger retard?

He ALWAYS speaks the truth!

Then lately, I found all the bitches with IQs rivaling iguanas on crack swooning over a particular shithead’s song. Gosh, after listening to the shit this guy releases, I actually decided that midget shithead which screams like a chipmunk is ACTUALLY better than this particular shithead. And presenting to you our brand new shithead!

What the fuck is this guy????

Here’s a guy who sings songs that completely rhymes with “I LOSS MY NUTS!!!” ….. ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

He has a single which made him a famous household name….singing about a bitch who’s not satisfied with how she looks….and he tells her to stay the same. It sounds FUCKING STUPID….not to mention it sounds like a song from a guy who lost his fucking nuts! OHHHH WAIT…I guess he did.

Now ….. dissection time!!!

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

Here’s a fucking a superficial guy who’s only talking about HER EYES HER EYES…OOOOOO HER HAIR HER HAIR…..that doesn’t sound superficial yet??? ok on to the next shit lines

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

WHAT A PUSSY! You just run to the girl everyday like a fucking stray dog and say “DUUHHHHH YOU AR SO BEAUTIFUL DUUUUUH!!!”, and the bitch will of course be happy inside like “HAHAH OF COURSE I AM HOT YOU DICKLESS SHIT!”

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

She doesn’t believe you cause she wants more compliments dipshit! She sees more than what you see you clueless fucktard of a pussy! She just wants more compliments, so go ahead give it to her like the 101% pussy you are. And again, you idiots don’t see the superficial values here? No comments on her personality, her attitude, etc…it’s all about “OMMGGGGG YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL OMGGGG”

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Yes she asks you to get second opinions cause she obviously thinks the other whore passing by is hot…so she needs an ego boost you fucktard!

And again he only talks about “OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTFUL OMG OMG DUUUUUUUH!!!”

Fucking superficial prick.

And then the whole song goes on to talk about “OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL OMG OMG”, basically repeating the same superficial fuck over and over again cause this guy obviously has a dick for a brain!

I love Google!

Not one fucking line in the song he talks about the girl herself but only how HOT she is….and she’s a bitch who’s obviously not satisfied but likes the ego boost given by a pussy with a fedora.

No not this pussy with a fedora!

But of course all the stupid unintelligent girls would say “OOO NO HE’s SINGING SO SENTIMENTALLY ABOUT US BEING OURSELVES”

WRONG BITCHES!

All he’s singing about is superficial, no mention has been made about the girl herself, given a little more space he would’ve mentioned about her fucking knockers!

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!?

Ok, we move on to his next piece of pussy shit…called ….. I dono it’ something to do with explosives….

Basically he sings he’ll do anything for some bitch but she won’t do that for him…DUH!!! Then why sing you faggot!

Find another bitch for cryin out loud you prick!

Easy come, easy go
That’s just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did

Yeap apparently some bitch did something to this pussy and so here he is bitching about it like the whiny little bitch he is.

Really, a bitch gives trouble, toss her and go for something else, other guys for example!

Problem Solved!

But nooooooooooooooo, he keeps sticking to the same shit like the super fag he is!

To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don’t understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won’t do the same

Yeap, apparently he’ll catch a grenade for the bitch….very intelligent my dear pussy!

But she won’t do the same! OMG!!! No Shit Hommie!

So why bitch about it?!?!?! Why don’t you just go fucking catch a grenade and fucking die!

The bitch obviously isn’t satisfied with the lack of penile matter on you so she looks for someone else who really would’ve bother catching grenades for her….he just needs a great dong for her!

The Dong King of Men!

But of course instead of going for penis enlargement treatments, he keeps singing about how she tossed him in the trash blah blah.

Yes faggot we know…she dumped you..BOOO HOOO FAGGOT! Get a fucking life!

Can you sing about getting a life, or maybe attempting to get a better sized penis for once???

Nope! All you sing about is some bitch and how you are the bitch’s bitch!

Congratulations faggot!

Speaking of faggots, anyone missed him yet?

And of course like expected, he will continue to churn out shit that are superficial and faggot-like cause a large number of bitch community would love to hear shit like these to boost their ego and effectively reduce their intelligence. And also guys who listen to this will turn into the fucking sour faggots they are -> “OMG SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL, OMG SHE DUMPED ME, I DON’T DESERVE HER CAUSE I AM A FAGGOT”….yeap….you are effectively turning a whole generation of boys into girls, and girls into monsters….and soon enough fucking cats will rule the world cause no man is able to step up to it!

Bowz down to me sissy people!

Which is why despite being the greatest douche in the universe, I still think Kanye West is the last hope for mankind….all cause his douchiness makes him a man, that all other men seem to be lacking right now!

Only a true man can leave a trail of fire!

But what can I say, the large population of shallow bitches will keep listening and continue being stupid for a long time…leaving the perfect species of women to die slowly.

Dying Breed

As for the alarmingly increasing rate of sissy men….I need not say more…Thank You Faggot Pop Stars…Thank You for reducing the number MEN out there!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?!? Charlize Theron can bitchslap them with her eyes closed!

And that’s all I want to bitch today.

If you are not satisified cause you are one of the heavy population of sissies that I mentioned here….I am sorry to say…I don’t give a flying fuck about you! EAT ME!

Till Then

Fuck Off!


You are not William Wallace! You are more like Mel Gibson!

Well well well

It’s been long since I disappeared briefly as I was way too busy being awesome and all but I am back, and I know some of you are really happy to see me!

Is that a cactus or are you just excited to see me ?

Many things happened this past couple of months, specifically during my disappearance, the passing of Leslie Nielsen and Irvin Kirschner, but sadly Justin Bieber is still alive last I checked.

I also noticed the substantial increase of morons lately….especially after this guy got into massive trouble.

Well hello handsome!

Now our hero here definitely has a point in his crusade for an open internet and stuff. He has also leaked out some juicy stuff, and I am not gonna say whether or not I had a look or not but now I feel I am more knowledgeable than many dipshits out there who scream without reading his shit.

One fact always remains is that this guy's a moron, we don't need Assange to prove that

Now here are some points I see morons scream so much about the leak guy and his crusades (without knowing shit mind you) :

1. We are being watched all the time

– No Shit??? You thought your little facebook account is securely private? How stupid are you anyway? We all know the Feds are also watching 4Chan, which is a god damn anonymous forum, what more Facebook, where your name, address, phone number and dog’s names are all exposed out cause you need to let everyone in the world know what you have been up to at Hawaii beach during the summer? All thats needed is you to be a suspect of some terror link and the Feds just need to ask your next hero to open up your details to them and bang! They now know you are allergic to cats!

Your Hero

But of course, who can blame him? His Billion dollar worth self is hanging on a thin thread when he’s got feds knocking on his…..erm….email asking for details…he would rather secure his Billion bucks than protect one little dipshit like you on the net….I would do the same if I were in his place (how I wished to be in his place…but I am awesome myself thank you)

2. Leaks boy is fighting for ALL OUR INTERNET RIGHTS!!!

– Actually he’s exposing atrocious things done by organizations and is demanding for openness as in them being open to us….If they are gonna be open to us, it also means we have to be open to them too….its a two way thing dumbfucks!

But of course this guy doesn't get the idea of TWO way communications

3. Our Privacy is soooooooo precious

– yea right, that’s why you are so happily posting up your shitfaced pictures over Facebook the minute you sobered up from the shit party you had last night…privacy *scoff*. Listen you retards, if you so value your privacy, stop posting private stuff on your accounts, heck destroy your FB accounts you dipshits…Can’t do it right? you know why? cause you are born to be the stupid crowd follower you are, and the Billion dollar boy now knows this….

Of course he didn't realize it when he was Jesse Eisenberg

4. They will know everything we do, even when we take our dump!

– Yea big deal! Now I am not saying I support any evil govt organization or anything. But I say I have nothing to hide. Right now here I maybe known as an Angry Nerd…but there are some people out there who know who I really am….too bad I can’t do shit about it, but you know what? I don’t have anything to hide! I am not financing terrorists, I am not planning a terror plot and I am not investing in kiddy porn! I have nothing to hide aside from the fact I am pretty freaked out by cockroaches!

Haha let's send a box of roaches to that nerd's house!

5. We must support for an open government boo0 hoooooo they are so evil to us they arrest us booo hooo there’s no privacy booo hooo we are not protected booo hoooo

– Yea I am all for being protected, having a govt being open to me blah blah. But the problem here is people who bitch endlessly about being checked for things, being too secure and shit. Of course in case you missed out, slacking in security and shit causes this :

Hello dipshits!

– Being secure is to make sure you are safe from shit like that pictured above. Of course some security measures tend to be a bit absurd, but that’s life dipshits….people are trying to come up with ways to be secure, something you can never think of given the chance so let people do their jobs, stop bitching about it….end of the day it’s your security that’s being ensured off here…..and also the security of your midget idol who has no talent or whatsoever.

Terrorists suck cause they still can't hit the RIGHT target!

6. And then there are shit loads of people I noticed in places like Facebook who are screaming so much about Leaks boy being framed blah blah, he’s the Messiah, he’s the HERO, he’s Jesus’ second coming and whatever crap. Keep in mind this guy has just signed am multi million dollar book deal to keep fighting for his case, he’s got himself covered enough and probably doesn’t know who the fuck are you…and the fact he kinda screwed up with the two swedish women doesn’t help either. I am not sayin the guy’s guilty, but he did screw up a bit there…..after all you are holding tons of secrets and you know people are gonna come after you, and you go on a sex romp in Sweden…you also destroyed my mood to go to Sweden!

And there goes my Swedish blond dreams

Hence, here’s my advice to dipshits out there :

– Know what you are screaming for…..you scream meaninglessly without knowing shit on what you are talking about!

Exhibit A

– Also get some facts right, nothing wrong in supporting Leaks boy, but please at least read 2 of his articles before screaming ??? That way you won’t look like a whack job Simian!

No not these Simians!

– Before criticizing things, get things straight, don’t just say things out of nowhere. I’ve seen people who scream OMG Govt people who say they get back to you NEVER get back to you…it also applies to private corporations too for fuck’s sake!

He says it all!

Anyway that’s all for now…..

I am gonna start writing regularly again as I am freed up a bit now, but I gotta find more interesting topics (morons) to write about.

*ehem*

Till Then

 

Fuck Off

Nut loss!

My title should be kinda self explanatory. Its about nut loss. It’s about the tragic ways the male race these days are loosing their nuts. And my question to what is actually driving them to loose their nuts??? What on earth can actually cause a massive population of MEN…to not being MEN anymore?!?!?!

Just taking a wild guess

Keep in mind I am not screaming all male chauvinism shit here but I am tired of looking at the massive transformation the male race is going through these days. And no it’s not about homosexual men…it’s about sissy fuckheads who road around with girls looking like their FUCKING SISTERS instead of a stud!

Dying Breed here!

Today while driving to work being as awesomely man as I can possibly be, I heard this pathetic thing on the radio.

A guy calls up the station and asks help about his fiancee.

Well what can that be???

Maybe his fiancée turns out to be some murderous being, psychotic serial murderer or Christian Bale in a raincoat and an axe??

To be honest I would call for help too.....

But nooooooooooo the problem was apparently WAY MORE BIGGER THAN THAT!

It’s so Critical, Life Changing, Massive that even “His Royal Awesomeness” Steve Jobs can never dream of solving it apparently!

Sorry Buddy, your magical device ain't gonna solve this....not that it solved anything anyway 🙂

So what was the problem?

Now Mr.Dipshit Pussy here has a problem of arranging his wedding ceremony with his fiancee. Now the bitch apparently when dating mr.dipshit has mentioned that just one wedding ceremony cuts it…fine right? I mean it’s fair enough. Weddings are expensive and not many of us are born with a silver spoon in our hands!

Exhibit A is born with a platinum spoon in each of his fingers btw

So they have that in mind and went on with their regular dates of watching movies, counting flowers, eating expensive dinners, buying her expensive gifts and probably not getting laid with her anyway. But who cares right? He is soooo gonna marry her anyway, sex can wait! It doesn’t matter if she’s a gold digger or not…Kanye West and Jamie Foxx are sooooo wrong!

Your advice on Gold Diggers have fallen on complete deaf ears bruthas!

Then he decides to propose to her….every woman waits for this right? Where the idiot goes out of his way to buy an expensive ring, prepares a surprise which is totally not a surprise cause that’s what you expect from him anyway. Then he kneels down on his knees and asks “Marry Me my Princess?” And then you bitches, despite knowing you already trapped a guy for life and will say yes cause not many women will say no to a big fucking rock (yes not many say yes to the guy..they usually speak to the rock only), you ask for time and then you think about it, look around your potential market and realize no other dipshit wants you cause those said dipshits are usually quite smart themselves, then you say yes…..bearing in mind, you say yes to the rock, not the fool behind the rock!

This will never happen! Fuck You Hollywood!

Now back to our story. So the girl obviously said yes and earned her rightful position….no wait….CLAIMED her rightful position as the sissy’s fiancee. And then they go on as a fiancee couple now whose marriage is so inevitable…so says The Oracle!

No! Not this Oracle!.....fuck it

And then comes the part where they start discussing marriage again…just to keep things straight. Cause it’s time to get married and rule his fucking life now right bitch?

So they discuss wedding and now the bitch changes her story (to which she does not deny! – I’ll come to that later), she now wants THREE fucking wedding ceremony! She wants in the guy’s town, her town and one more extra for god knows what fucking reason????

The guy being the pitiful guy who’s probably stuck at a regular 9-5 job slacking at Hewlett Packard or something suddenly gets the “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?” feeling but unfortunately he lost his nuts months or years ago to this bitch as you would’ve realized by now. Why? Cause ONE wedding is already fucking expensive these days….people treat weddings like fucking Academy Awards Ceremonies these days, thanx to the fucking media and advertisements that hype of these shit and the fucking retards who buy into this shit these days!

Why go to the academy awards?? Just attend a fucking wedding!

But this bitch wants THREE FUCKING WEDDINGS!!!! Now you probably got the hint that since the guy is shitting bricks over this, it’s pretty obvious who’s gonna be paying for all of this! Take a guess dipshits!!!

definitely not this guy

So our nutless friend, having no way to express his disagreements cause…he’s nutless duh! decides to call up the morning show in the radio station, and ask for help from the public. He wants US the public, to help him deal with the bitch he calls his fiancee. Stay classy sissy!

So he calls tells his situation and asks for help. And people being the great helpful people they are called in telling him how to deal with it, suggestions on how to adjust the weddings instead of 3 go for 2 blah blah…hey people are being helpful at least, I give them points and I love them for that.

And you people RAWK!

Then comes the shitty part. His bitch calls in, cause she so happens to listen to the same station this dumbfuck has bitched to and starts bitching around. Firstly I don’t get it, you wanna ask for help, you probably should ask in some place where your bitch does not listen or read to? Or are you trying to drop indirect hints so that she will finally get it and become nice and decide to help you out by reasoning out with you????

That might happen......Probably in the 7th layer of your dream

So the bitch calls in, now she does not deny that she agreed for just one wedding ceremony, instead keeps fighting back, fucking convinced that she’s right and he’s a pussy! Well yes she got the latter right that’s for sure. She’s fucking rude to the DJs who I deeply love cause they are the only intelligent DJs in the fucking country and she kept defending herself instead of looking at it from the guy’s point of view.

Bitch….did you not think how much will it cost for him? Do you want him to keep paying for your fucking wedding for a long time while you waltz around in the name of being his wife? What guarantee is there that you’ll be loyal instead of fucking around with other douchebag when you find him boring in bed or too sissy for your liking? What the fuck can you offer?!?!?!

Can you offer perfection like this??? Nope...don't think so!

Now keep in mind before any feminist bitch starts screaming “Oh you are a male chauvinistic pig, blah blah blah”, shut the fuck up and listen to me properly, and go put a cock in your mouth or something.

I am not talking in the sense of being a male chauvinist. I respect females as much as they give me respect. I believe in women being able to handle things on their own, how they deserve things as well. But I do not believe in a one sided shit where one party has more say…that goes for men too. In this case of the pussy and his bitch, they can at least talk it out and reason things out, he wants ONE, she wants THREE, why not reason out and go for TWO?!?!?! And that’s also kind of giving, he still giving in to what she wants although not fully but the bitch can’t be satisfied with that obviously cause she wants to be the fucking queen. Who the fuck does she think she is??? And she has the cheek to say she’s angry with him, FUCKING BITCH! And I wonder what the pussy is doing now that she’s angry?

Definitely not this, cause this kinda requires NUTS

Here’s my solution…it’s pretty simple actually….and not long winded and all, just straight to the point.

Stand up! Face her! Talk it out as below : (and to be concise I will be labeling pussy as “P” and Bitch as “B”)

P : B, we need to discuss the wedding plans

B : What is it? There’s nothing to discuss, we are doing it MY WAY!

P : no we need to discuss it properly, your way of 3 ceremonies is a bit too expensive and unnecessary. We have to discuss this over again.

B: NO I WANT IT MY WAY

P : here’s my suggestion, we do two weddings instead cause it covers your family, my family, friends on the other hand can attend either.

B : No damnit! I want a BIG WEDDING Cause I AM A FUCKING QUEEN!

P : listen. it’s not feasible, it’s too expensive and we are gonna be paying for this, we need to setup a house, get a good car, run our lives, save for the kids

B : I don’t care, you are gonna bare it all so solve it however you want…I want my WEDDINGS MY WAY!

P : Hey I am trying to give you some space at least and not demanding it to be my way either, can you give that some though

B : NO! It’s a special day for me!

P : It’s a special day for me too

B : I don’t care

P : Alright fine, have it your way, with your next fiancee

B : WHAT?

P : You heard it bitch! Hastalavista baby!

B : You can’t dump me!!

P : Sez who?

B : I said so!

P : You and whose army bitch?

B : WHAT?

P : U heard me bitch! Pack up and fuck off, this is my house btw!

B : *Pretending tears* NOOO why do u do this? I love you, you love me

P : You love yourself more, so I love myself more too now. Fuck Off

B : NOOOOOO

P : YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Meet my New girlfriend!

Ommaya Kaboom!

END OF STORY!

See it’s so simple to solve this problem. You don’t need to be all douchy, give her an option, give a sound option where it works out for both parties. If she doesn’t budge, wave bye bye and find a new wench for yourself. Yes….as you would’ve realized the world is kinda overpopulated now, finding a woman should not be too much of a problem unless you live in the wrong village!

But to be honest, these guys are better than some bitches!

Yes so do yourself a favor pussy! Give her an ultimatum, give her options, if she does not budge, throw her away, focus on yourself, improve yourself, get a social life which you so obviously lost when you started dating this bitch and go out and have fun. Eventually some woman will come to you, because let’s face it, some of the worst looking fuckers out there are banging some bombshells as we see it today! I am sure you can find some bombshell of some sort!

Here's a shining example!

And that’s all

And for any feminist bitch who wants to scream, again I repeat…stuff a cock in your mouth!

Till Then

Fuck Off

Anchorman’s spiritual successor is here! a.k.a The Other Guys review

I caught The Other Guys over the weekend and damn I was impressed! Fuckin loved it.

For all you shallow dimwits who enjoy “comedy” shit like “You again” , you are obviously below the intelligence level required to read this, so you can close your browser and go kill yourself cause you don’t deserve to be alive.

And I find her really annoying I don't know why

Ok for those who are interested in finding good movies, The Other Guys stars Will Ferrel and Marky Mark….I mean Mark Wahlberg…and is a buddy cop movie….HOWEVER it is NOT A STUPID BUDDY COP MOVIE like that piece of shit called Cop Out!

Why John Mcclane!??!?! WHY!?!?!?!?

The Other Guys feature some of the most intelligent humor I seem to notice that are lacking in so many movies these days. Probably because the new generation of entertainment goers have the IQ level of a duck on crack!

The Other Guys is also directed and co-written by Adam Mckay who has also collaborated with Will Ferrel three other previous productions Talladega Nights, Step Brothers and the god like Anchorman! So it should kinda give you a god damn clue on how awesome this movie has the potential to be. And it does not fucking disappoint!

The posterboy of disappointment

The movie starts out with a BANG…and I fucking mean it…it’s a BIG FUCKING BANG! We are introduced to SuperCop pair Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (in possibly his greatest movie decision of his career so far) and Samuel “motherfuckin” L. Jackson as they chase some criminals downtown, be totally fucking awesome, cause some awesome explosion and walk out of it, inexplicably alive….why? Cause they were supposed to be SO AWESOME they can’t be scratched! And hell they were so COOL!!!!!

Motherfuckin badass!

Hence, they are so awesome that every other cop fuckin aspires to be them, and this includes our two protagonists, brilliantly played by Will Ferrel and Mark! Will plays a bizzare deskjob by the books guy and Mark plays a hot headed cop who’s stuck with Will. Sounds so run off the mill right? But no it’s NOT! Its insane as fuck!

The new faces of insanity!

We are also introduced to other characters comprising of random douchebags, random idiots and Batman as the Captain of the department…..Michael Keaton to be exact.

He was the best Batman until the sore throat guy came along!

What makes this movie brilliant is it’s dash of random humor which are not just random but smart as well. The “aim for the bushes” part is totally insane and unexpected. And I will never look at the Prius the same again!

A hero's vagina! also an orgy mobile!

To make it short, the original badass heroes somehow meet their demise because of some non-existent bush and the other guys actually step in to fill in the shoes. And the story goes from there. The movie is so brilliant it also features what is possibly the most silent violent scene since the days of silent movies themselves!

This..in color!

Also we are introduced to Will’s uber hot wife, Eva “OMG MY EYES ARE MELTING” Mendes! Wow Eva Mendes, you have improved so so far. I was impressed with her performance. The last good movie I know she appeared in was Bad Lieutenant with Nicholas Cage!

OMG Look at those curves! Damn you Will Ferrel!!! Mark agrees with me too!

And hell I was impressed….for once I wasn’t lookin at her assets but her superior performance. She even sang the damn soundtrack “Pimps don’t cry”. Way go go Eva! You proof to be FAR hotter and far more talented than the likes of Megan Fox and co!

eeeeew!

What’s hilarious is how Mark tries to hit on her and not believing she’s Will’s wife….LAWL!!!!!

Of course the running humor here is how Will attracts really hot women for no reason and Mark’s disturbed by it. And also the other running humor are the unbelievable skills Mark knows simply cause he learns them to make fun of queer kids….ballet for example.

And probably the greatest running humor there is Michael Keaton’s TLC lyric fixation, which he always denies knowing anything about. The only thing that can EVER top this off is if Christian Bale starts rambling lyrics off Fresh Prince’s songs!

I'll tell you how i became the Knight of a town called Gotham!

Also Will Ferrel has a dark side…pimp side to be exact!

Pimpin Yo!

I am not gonna spoil it further but I am gonna say this is truly Anchorman’s spiritual successor, it’s as good as Anchorman if not better! And it also features some interesting cameos like Brooke Shields, Tracy Morgan and Derek Jeter, the most important cameo that is!

Adam Mckay has done an awesome job with Will Ferrel to bring what we hungered for….another Anchorman that is.

Mark Wahlberg! Damn I am surprised, I know he can do great serious roles, action roles and well not so insane comedy roles but this has surpassed all his other performances.

Michael Keaton was awesome, been a long time since I seen him being awesome, and I wish to see him be this awesome more often next time!

Eva Mendes….impressive. I have never found myself being impressed at her performance cause I usually focus more on her…..erm…assets…but this time, I really didn’t notice those things cause she was so fucking good.

God's second greatest perfection after Charlize Theron!

The rest of the cast were good, and despite being in the movie for like less than 10 minutes, The Rock and Samuel Jackson were simply awesome….and I hope Dwayne Johnson starts doing awesome shit like these instead of appearing as queer characters in like…ALMOST ALL HIS FUCKING MOVIES OF LATE.

tell me, which part of this isn't queer to u?

And I also wish more awesome comedy movies like this come instead of shitty comedy movies like ….. any shit Katherine Heigl appears in!

Yes we get it, u r hot, independant,powerful whatever woman and the guy you are with is hopeless...you have been conveying that for the past 200 movies you are in! Boring!

However this movie will never surpass the greatest Rom-Com ever made in history! Twilight Saga!

Just get too excited Twitards...I Was being Sarcastic!

So till then

Fuck Off

Conspiracy Theory

I got some conspiracy theory running in my mind. It might be bullshit, it might be true, we’ll never know but let me put this forward right now.

This is what I firmly believe :

He isn't gay

So why do I say this? I am gonna stir some shit when I say this too by the way.

But here’s my take on it!

When this guy and that male version of Taylor Swift were competing for that shitty idol show judged by 3 clowns previously , it became clear cut that one guy will win but will disappear into nothingness and the other guy will probably be famous, but for how long???

Male Taylor Swift, cause he's shit boring

So as expected the boring guy won, and never became big anyway. While the loser had to come out with a plan to trade on his so called “prettiness”….gosh!

And hence some genius decided to market him as “gay”….but being gay isn’t enough cause there is a guy who is already gay but never made it big anyway.

Sorry Adam, you are NOT the first Idol who's "gay"

So they decided to make it “spicier” by making him CONTROVERSIALLY gay cause as you know, the morons who tune into this shitty idol show and listen to shitty radio really do not know what the fuck is being Controversial is about.

The true face of controversy!

And so instead of being the usual run of the mill gay guy which the media shamelessly tries to project, despite not knowing how a proper gay man would look like…they decided to transform him…into….the usual run of the mill gay guy who just over does his gay ness.

And this is how the conversation would’ve went with his management and him : (and I shall name him “gay” for anonymous purposes and his management “mgt” cause I am too lazy to type the long name)

mgt : “gay”, we’re sorry you lost to that boring guy…..so what do you aim to do next?

“gay”: I don’t know man, I wanna famous and stuff, u know kinda like Elvis Presley

mgt : whoa there…..that’s taking it too far but yeah you got the vision kid…..so how far are you willing to go for fame and fortune?

“gay” : I would go the distance to be like Freddie Mercury!

mgt : hmmmm….I think I have an idea!

“gay” : yes yes? I am all ears

mgt : you gotta be gay first!

“gay” : what??? but what about all the groupies I wanna bang?!?!?

mgt : you look like a groupie yourself, it doesn’t make a difference…..so are you ready to go the distance?

“gay” : well it’s just acting gay right, like going out and proclaiming myself gay to the public

mgt : it’s more than that boy, more than that

“gay” :*gulp* meaning?

mgt : you gotta embody the gay culture, to be gay u must be gay

“gay” : wha????

mgt : yes….we’ll make you gay, controversial, flamboyant just like Chris Tucker in 5th Element

The inspiration!

“gay” : but that’s horrible….I don’t think gay people are like that!

mgt : you don’t know shit kid….everybody thinks gay people are like that….

“gay” : so what must I do now?

mgt : we’ll transform u, besides it’s the in thing now, appearing gay will also earn you sympathy cause gay people are hated apparently

And thus…this was born!

Little did they know, this wasn't gay....it was a full blown trannie!

“gay” : erm…..u know what I feel like a star now!

mgt : btw…u gotta make out with any random guys ok

“gay” : what?!?!?! why??? doesn’t just appearing gay cut it

mgt : listen kid, u gotta embody the gayness

“gay” : alright who do I kiss?

mgt “: any dude nearest to you to start off with, that oughta start some shitstorm in the media and you’ll be on your way to stardom, like Freddie Mercury, the only difference being, he was a proper gay man….but it doesn’t matter cause kids these days don’t know shit!

And BANG the flamboyantly gay celebrity was born and kisses guys just to show he’s gay.

And yes I have an argument for that…..take me for example…I am straight as an arrow…but if I was promised fame, and 20 million bucks in my bank account…I WILL FUCKING KISS ANY FUCKING GUY I COME ACROSS!

Yes even this guy!

So yes….I believe he is not gay but a fantastic actor who could’ve upstaged the late Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain….but no worries, throw enough cash to Ang Lee he might make another one starring our flamboyantly “gay” idiot and another jackass!

Preferably this jackass

And that’s all I gotta say about pretentious people and people who are dumb enough to give pretentious people the attention they need.

Bravo idiots hope you enjoy being stupid for the rest of your lives….and by the way that other midget you all listen to…..has ZERO talent! Shocking isn’t it? but you won’t realize it cause you are stupid anyway.

No talent, ugly as fuck, I hope he has a large dick to compensate....

So till then,

Fuck Off