Archive for the ‘ All things shitty ’ Category

Before assuming yourself a novelty….you better fucking be a fucking novelty!

Welcome fucktards!

Been a busy week, but been an angry week too.

So instead of being angry at all other things in the world, today I will be angry at…..Gold Diggers!

Greatest Living Gold Digger of our time

Lately I find myself getting utterly disgusted and sick of so many bitches these days who take things for granted.

Everyday I turn on the radio, I browse the net, I read stuff, I see the same shit…shit that has brainwashed a GREAT fucking chunk of humanity for the last fucking century. People are getting delusional with the advent of mainstream advertising, planting shit into our brains telling us we need stuff that we are already living pretty fucking well without!

Here's a shining example

But of course, the stupid faggotpad is something I would discuss in the near future…on how it breeds stupidity. Today however, my focus is on fucking bitches who think the fucking world owes them some shit….and treat people as if people owe them shit.

Due to the faggotization of men around the world, the fucking bitch population have sadly increased tenfolds….compared to those days when we think “bitch” we will point to people like McCartney’s ex wife or something…these days…we just don’t know where to point…we are surrounded by bitches for cryin out loud!

Sorry bitch, you are just not unique anymore!

Bitches these days are spoilt by nature, treated like fucking princesses by their fucking stupid,naive and fucktard parents. These said princesses come out to the world believing they are REAL fucking princesses think they deserve to be treated like fucking godesses when what they do not fucking realize is that, they are as fucking ugly as a fucking Rhinoceros on crack! Correction : I would rather fuck a rhinoceros on crack!

Exhibit A thinks she's Charlize Theron

Now what do these bitches do? They find the perfect victim..usually in the form of a world class faggot or an unsuspecting guy who thinks he should just try being a nice guy and they start treating him like their very own faggot prince they bought from Faggots R Us. They treat these boys like shit, cheat on them at times, and then expect the boys to treat them like the fucking princesses they are….last but not least they start plotting to live on the poor faggots’ paycheck and life…slowly sucking away the life of the faggot until the faggot has no life, then bitches would say “oh you are not providing for me” and move on to the next available faggot…cause there’s always a faggot ready somewhere nearby!

What do these bitches want??? wow, they want so many shit from guys, without moving a fucking toe!!!

They demand so many shit from the guys like :

1. If you gonna marry me, buy me a house!

2. If you gonna marry me, get me those rocks bitch!

3. If you gonna marry me, give me your balls

4. Forget marriage , just be my slave!

Yeap….all these apply…

What I don’t understand is…what is the significance of all these when you fucking bitches ALWAYS scream “EQUALITY!!!!”….when you scream equal rights, it means you must be able to buy or share the house, you don’t need a fucking rock for the guy to prove shit to you…and you certainly do not need his balls for cryin out loud!

But no…they think they are above the world! Despite the fact they are probably the ugliest piece of shit from the neighborhood!

Ugly Bitch!...oh wait....

And they demand from guys, keeping in mind it wasn’t the guys that are jumping to be with them, they are the ones FORCING the guys to be with them, so that they can be given all the shit they want,FOR A RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY FORCIBLY ESTABLISH! They intensely establish the fact that the faggot needs to marry them or be their slave without the faggot moving a pinky and then they start putting all the fucking conditions in front!!! INTENSELY!!!!

INTENSE!

And of course, why blame the bitches when the faggots so READILY hand their fucking balls to the waiting hands of the said bitches just like that!

If only these fuckers would hand in their life in the same manner to save the planet, the world would be a wonderful place!

And at least what this guy sang would FINALLY make sense!

Here’s what I think of these bitches :

1. They are disgusting

2. They are fucked up

3. They need to OPEN THEIR FUCKING EYES!

4. They need to snap back to reality

5. They should also probably kill themselves!

I fucking get disgusted hearing this shit over and over again, how bitches demand shit from their guys who already are working to make the relationship well, yes not all guys are great, and you can demand from the not so great guys as compensation…but for guys that are already providing, what the fuck are you demanding somemore for? Fuck you bitches!

I fucking hate bitches who think the world owes them shit…WAKE THE FUCKING UP SLUTS!!!! the world does not fucking owe you anything unless you are this woman!

She's the greatest woman in the planet and yes the world owes her!!! NOT YOU!

As for guys, WAKE THE FUCKING UP as well!!!

If a bitch pulls some shit like I mentioned above, FUCKING LEAVE!

Why? simple, out of the billions of women in the world, this one bitch isn’t meant for you, and there are so many other fucking bitches to choose from…remember the phrase “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”?…yes it’s true cause if you come out to reality and take a good fucking look, you will realize “OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE’S PLENTY OF FUCKING FISH IN THE FUCKING SEA”!!!!

Now imagine if those fishes were blond bombshells dropping on you!

I hope guys all around will open their fucking eyes and live a man’s life.

Remember :

1. Don’t live for others, you are your own man

2. Don’t be a slave when an unqualified bitch asks you to be one, even if she qualifies (a.k.a Charlize Theron), remember this…she isn’t superhuman or a god figure, she poops and bleeds just like you fuckheads! she probably farts louder too!

3. Equality..understand the word….don’t let anyone push you around using that word

4. Live with honor, you don’t suck on people’s life, and don’t let people suck on your life

5. If bitches practice their rights to be choosy bitches, you have a right to be a choosy asshole!

6. Be ready to fuck off when the bitch becomes a fucktard….remember…fucktard = fuck off

And all this will lead you to be the man you are always meant to be

You are meant to be THIS!

Also bitches, please do realize, you do not look anywhere near Charlize Theron in order to think you deserve some massive shit from the world :

I sooooooooo missed you Charlize!!!!

So guys please do realize this, a bitch who demands from you does not deserve it, yes there are proper women out there, take your time and don’t rush just because a bitch decides it’s time to rush things…it’s your fucking dick, do what you want with it!

And Remember, knowing is half the battle you twits!

Yesssssssssss you twitssssssssssss!

Till then

 

Fuck Off!

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Nut Loss : Part Deux

The past year has been steadily annoying with this particular chipmunk like voice on radio, where the voice is owned by one of the greatest piece of irritating shit in the history of entertainment.

And how low have u sunk dear Usher

I kept listening to the same shit all year where people were brainlessly repeating the parrot like lyrics this piece of shit kept moaning like an injured chipmunk over the radio….people are that stupid..cause they keep repeating the same words again again…I mean it’s ok for one retard to act like a retard, but millions of retards following one retard? Who’s the bigger retard?

He ALWAYS speaks the truth!

Then lately, I found all the bitches with IQs rivaling iguanas on crack swooning over a particular shithead’s song. Gosh, after listening to the shit this guy releases, I actually decided that midget shithead which screams like a chipmunk is ACTUALLY better than this particular shithead. And presenting to you our brand new shithead!

What the fuck is this guy????

Here’s a guy who sings songs that completely rhymes with “I LOSS MY NUTS!!!” ….. ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

He has a single which made him a famous household name….singing about a bitch who’s not satisfied with how she looks….and he tells her to stay the same. It sounds FUCKING STUPID….not to mention it sounds like a song from a guy who lost his fucking nuts! OHHHH WAIT…I guess he did.

Now ….. dissection time!!!

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

Here’s a fucking a superficial guy who’s only talking about HER EYES HER EYES…OOOOOO HER HAIR HER HAIR…..that doesn’t sound superficial yet??? ok on to the next shit lines

She’s so beautiful
And I tell her every day

WHAT A PUSSY! You just run to the girl everyday like a fucking stray dog and say “DUUHHHHH YOU AR SO BEAUTIFUL DUUUUUH!!!”, and the bitch will of course be happy inside like “HAHAH OF COURSE I AM HOT YOU DICKLESS SHIT!”

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don’t see what I see

She doesn’t believe you cause she wants more compliments dipshit! She sees more than what you see you clueless fucktard of a pussy! She just wants more compliments, so go ahead give it to her like the 101% pussy you are. And again, you idiots don’t see the superficial values here? No comments on her personality, her attitude, etc…it’s all about “OMMGGGGG YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL OMGGGG”

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Yes she asks you to get second opinions cause she obviously thinks the other whore passing by is hot…so she needs an ego boost you fucktard!

And again he only talks about “OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTFUL OMG OMG DUUUUUUUH!!!”

Fucking superficial prick.

And then the whole song goes on to talk about “OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL OMG OMG”, basically repeating the same superficial fuck over and over again cause this guy obviously has a dick for a brain!

I love Google!

Not one fucking line in the song he talks about the girl herself but only how HOT she is….and she’s a bitch who’s obviously not satisfied but likes the ego boost given by a pussy with a fedora.

No not this pussy with a fedora!

But of course all the stupid unintelligent girls would say “OOO NO HE’s SINGING SO SENTIMENTALLY ABOUT US BEING OURSELVES”

WRONG BITCHES!

All he’s singing about is superficial, no mention has been made about the girl herself, given a little more space he would’ve mentioned about her fucking knockers!

HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!?

Ok, we move on to his next piece of pussy shit…called ….. I dono it’ something to do with explosives….

Basically he sings he’ll do anything for some bitch but she won’t do that for him…DUH!!! Then why sing you faggot!

Find another bitch for cryin out loud you prick!

Easy come, easy go
That’s just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did

Yeap apparently some bitch did something to this pussy and so here he is bitching about it like the whiny little bitch he is.

Really, a bitch gives trouble, toss her and go for something else, other guys for example!

Problem Solved!

But nooooooooooooooo, he keeps sticking to the same shit like the super fag he is!

To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don’t understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won’t do the same

Yeap, apparently he’ll catch a grenade for the bitch….very intelligent my dear pussy!

But she won’t do the same! OMG!!! No Shit Hommie!

So why bitch about it?!?!?! Why don’t you just go fucking catch a grenade and fucking die!

The bitch obviously isn’t satisfied with the lack of penile matter on you so she looks for someone else who really would’ve bother catching grenades for her….he just needs a great dong for her!

The Dong King of Men!

But of course instead of going for penis enlargement treatments, he keeps singing about how she tossed him in the trash blah blah.

Yes faggot we know…she dumped you..BOOO HOOO FAGGOT! Get a fucking life!

Can you sing about getting a life, or maybe attempting to get a better sized penis for once???

Nope! All you sing about is some bitch and how you are the bitch’s bitch!

Congratulations faggot!

Speaking of faggots, anyone missed him yet?

And of course like expected, he will continue to churn out shit that are superficial and faggot-like cause a large number of bitch community would love to hear shit like these to boost their ego and effectively reduce their intelligence. And also guys who listen to this will turn into the fucking sour faggots they are -> “OMG SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL, OMG SHE DUMPED ME, I DON’T DESERVE HER CAUSE I AM A FAGGOT”….yeap….you are effectively turning a whole generation of boys into girls, and girls into monsters….and soon enough fucking cats will rule the world cause no man is able to step up to it!

Bowz down to me sissy people!

Which is why despite being the greatest douche in the universe, I still think Kanye West is the last hope for mankind….all cause his douchiness makes him a man, that all other men seem to be lacking right now!

Only a true man can leave a trail of fire!

But what can I say, the large population of shallow bitches will keep listening and continue being stupid for a long time…leaving the perfect species of women to die slowly.

Dying Breed

As for the alarmingly increasing rate of sissy men….I need not say more…Thank You Faggot Pop Stars…Thank You for reducing the number MEN out there!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?!? Charlize Theron can bitchslap them with her eyes closed!

And that’s all I want to bitch today.

If you are not satisified cause you are one of the heavy population of sissies that I mentioned here….I am sorry to say…I don’t give a flying fuck about you! EAT ME!

Till Then

Fuck Off!


You are not William Wallace! You are more like Mel Gibson!

Well well well

It’s been long since I disappeared briefly as I was way too busy being awesome and all but I am back, and I know some of you are really happy to see me!

Is that a cactus or are you just excited to see me ?

Many things happened this past couple of months, specifically during my disappearance, the passing of Leslie Nielsen and Irvin Kirschner, but sadly Justin Bieber is still alive last I checked.

I also noticed the substantial increase of morons lately….especially after this guy got into massive trouble.

Well hello handsome!

Now our hero here definitely has a point in his crusade for an open internet and stuff. He has also leaked out some juicy stuff, and I am not gonna say whether or not I had a look or not but now I feel I am more knowledgeable than many dipshits out there who scream without reading his shit.

One fact always remains is that this guy's a moron, we don't need Assange to prove that

Now here are some points I see morons scream so much about the leak guy and his crusades (without knowing shit mind you) :

1. We are being watched all the time

– No Shit??? You thought your little facebook account is securely private? How stupid are you anyway? We all know the Feds are also watching 4Chan, which is a god damn anonymous forum, what more Facebook, where your name, address, phone number and dog’s names are all exposed out cause you need to let everyone in the world know what you have been up to at Hawaii beach during the summer? All thats needed is you to be a suspect of some terror link and the Feds just need to ask your next hero to open up your details to them and bang! They now know you are allergic to cats!

Your Hero

But of course, who can blame him? His Billion dollar worth self is hanging on a thin thread when he’s got feds knocking on his…..erm….email asking for details…he would rather secure his Billion bucks than protect one little dipshit like you on the net….I would do the same if I were in his place (how I wished to be in his place…but I am awesome myself thank you)

2. Leaks boy is fighting for ALL OUR INTERNET RIGHTS!!!

– Actually he’s exposing atrocious things done by organizations and is demanding for openness as in them being open to us….If they are gonna be open to us, it also means we have to be open to them too….its a two way thing dumbfucks!

But of course this guy doesn't get the idea of TWO way communications

3. Our Privacy is soooooooo precious

– yea right, that’s why you are so happily posting up your shitfaced pictures over Facebook the minute you sobered up from the shit party you had last night…privacy *scoff*. Listen you retards, if you so value your privacy, stop posting private stuff on your accounts, heck destroy your FB accounts you dipshits…Can’t do it right? you know why? cause you are born to be the stupid crowd follower you are, and the Billion dollar boy now knows this….

Of course he didn't realize it when he was Jesse Eisenberg

4. They will know everything we do, even when we take our dump!

– Yea big deal! Now I am not saying I support any evil govt organization or anything. But I say I have nothing to hide. Right now here I maybe known as an Angry Nerd…but there are some people out there who know who I really am….too bad I can’t do shit about it, but you know what? I don’t have anything to hide! I am not financing terrorists, I am not planning a terror plot and I am not investing in kiddy porn! I have nothing to hide aside from the fact I am pretty freaked out by cockroaches!

Haha let's send a box of roaches to that nerd's house!

5. We must support for an open government boo0 hoooooo they are so evil to us they arrest us booo hooo there’s no privacy booo hooo we are not protected booo hoooo

– Yea I am all for being protected, having a govt being open to me blah blah. But the problem here is people who bitch endlessly about being checked for things, being too secure and shit. Of course in case you missed out, slacking in security and shit causes this :

Hello dipshits!

– Being secure is to make sure you are safe from shit like that pictured above. Of course some security measures tend to be a bit absurd, but that’s life dipshits….people are trying to come up with ways to be secure, something you can never think of given the chance so let people do their jobs, stop bitching about it….end of the day it’s your security that’s being ensured off here…..and also the security of your midget idol who has no talent or whatsoever.

Terrorists suck cause they still can't hit the RIGHT target!

6. And then there are shit loads of people I noticed in places like Facebook who are screaming so much about Leaks boy being framed blah blah, he’s the Messiah, he’s the HERO, he’s Jesus’ second coming and whatever crap. Keep in mind this guy has just signed am multi million dollar book deal to keep fighting for his case, he’s got himself covered enough and probably doesn’t know who the fuck are you…and the fact he kinda screwed up with the two swedish women doesn’t help either. I am not sayin the guy’s guilty, but he did screw up a bit there…..after all you are holding tons of secrets and you know people are gonna come after you, and you go on a sex romp in Sweden…you also destroyed my mood to go to Sweden!

And there goes my Swedish blond dreams

Hence, here’s my advice to dipshits out there :

– Know what you are screaming for…..you scream meaninglessly without knowing shit on what you are talking about!

Exhibit A

– Also get some facts right, nothing wrong in supporting Leaks boy, but please at least read 2 of his articles before screaming ??? That way you won’t look like a whack job Simian!

No not these Simians!

– Before criticizing things, get things straight, don’t just say things out of nowhere. I’ve seen people who scream OMG Govt people who say they get back to you NEVER get back to you…it also applies to private corporations too for fuck’s sake!

He says it all!

Anyway that’s all for now…..

I am gonna start writing regularly again as I am freed up a bit now, but I gotta find more interesting topics (morons) to write about.

*ehem*

Till Then

 

Fuck Off

Nut loss!

My title should be kinda self explanatory. Its about nut loss. It’s about the tragic ways the male race these days are loosing their nuts. And my question to what is actually driving them to loose their nuts??? What on earth can actually cause a massive population of MEN…to not being MEN anymore?!?!?!

Just taking a wild guess

Keep in mind I am not screaming all male chauvinism shit here but I am tired of looking at the massive transformation the male race is going through these days. And no it’s not about homosexual men…it’s about sissy fuckheads who road around with girls looking like their FUCKING SISTERS instead of a stud!

Dying Breed here!

Today while driving to work being as awesomely man as I can possibly be, I heard this pathetic thing on the radio.

A guy calls up the station and asks help about his fiancee.

Well what can that be???

Maybe his fiancée turns out to be some murderous being, psychotic serial murderer or Christian Bale in a raincoat and an axe??

To be honest I would call for help too.....

But nooooooooooo the problem was apparently WAY MORE BIGGER THAN THAT!

It’s so Critical, Life Changing, Massive that even “His Royal Awesomeness” Steve Jobs can never dream of solving it apparently!

Sorry Buddy, your magical device ain't gonna solve this....not that it solved anything anyway 🙂

So what was the problem?

Now Mr.Dipshit Pussy here has a problem of arranging his wedding ceremony with his fiancee. Now the bitch apparently when dating mr.dipshit has mentioned that just one wedding ceremony cuts it…fine right? I mean it’s fair enough. Weddings are expensive and not many of us are born with a silver spoon in our hands!

Exhibit A is born with a platinum spoon in each of his fingers btw

So they have that in mind and went on with their regular dates of watching movies, counting flowers, eating expensive dinners, buying her expensive gifts and probably not getting laid with her anyway. But who cares right? He is soooo gonna marry her anyway, sex can wait! It doesn’t matter if she’s a gold digger or not…Kanye West and Jamie Foxx are sooooo wrong!

Your advice on Gold Diggers have fallen on complete deaf ears bruthas!

Then he decides to propose to her….every woman waits for this right? Where the idiot goes out of his way to buy an expensive ring, prepares a surprise which is totally not a surprise cause that’s what you expect from him anyway. Then he kneels down on his knees and asks “Marry Me my Princess?” And then you bitches, despite knowing you already trapped a guy for life and will say yes cause not many women will say no to a big fucking rock (yes not many say yes to the guy..they usually speak to the rock only), you ask for time and then you think about it, look around your potential market and realize no other dipshit wants you cause those said dipshits are usually quite smart themselves, then you say yes…..bearing in mind, you say yes to the rock, not the fool behind the rock!

This will never happen! Fuck You Hollywood!

Now back to our story. So the girl obviously said yes and earned her rightful position….no wait….CLAIMED her rightful position as the sissy’s fiancee. And then they go on as a fiancee couple now whose marriage is so inevitable…so says The Oracle!

No! Not this Oracle!.....fuck it

And then comes the part where they start discussing marriage again…just to keep things straight. Cause it’s time to get married and rule his fucking life now right bitch?

So they discuss wedding and now the bitch changes her story (to which she does not deny! – I’ll come to that later), she now wants THREE fucking wedding ceremony! She wants in the guy’s town, her town and one more extra for god knows what fucking reason????

The guy being the pitiful guy who’s probably stuck at a regular 9-5 job slacking at Hewlett Packard or something suddenly gets the “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?” feeling but unfortunately he lost his nuts months or years ago to this bitch as you would’ve realized by now. Why? Cause ONE wedding is already fucking expensive these days….people treat weddings like fucking Academy Awards Ceremonies these days, thanx to the fucking media and advertisements that hype of these shit and the fucking retards who buy into this shit these days!

Why go to the academy awards?? Just attend a fucking wedding!

But this bitch wants THREE FUCKING WEDDINGS!!!! Now you probably got the hint that since the guy is shitting bricks over this, it’s pretty obvious who’s gonna be paying for all of this! Take a guess dipshits!!!

definitely not this guy

So our nutless friend, having no way to express his disagreements cause…he’s nutless duh! decides to call up the morning show in the radio station, and ask for help from the public. He wants US the public, to help him deal with the bitch he calls his fiancee. Stay classy sissy!

So he calls tells his situation and asks for help. And people being the great helpful people they are called in telling him how to deal with it, suggestions on how to adjust the weddings instead of 3 go for 2 blah blah…hey people are being helpful at least, I give them points and I love them for that.

And you people RAWK!

Then comes the shitty part. His bitch calls in, cause she so happens to listen to the same station this dumbfuck has bitched to and starts bitching around. Firstly I don’t get it, you wanna ask for help, you probably should ask in some place where your bitch does not listen or read to? Or are you trying to drop indirect hints so that she will finally get it and become nice and decide to help you out by reasoning out with you????

That might happen......Probably in the 7th layer of your dream

So the bitch calls in, now she does not deny that she agreed for just one wedding ceremony, instead keeps fighting back, fucking convinced that she’s right and he’s a pussy! Well yes she got the latter right that’s for sure. She’s fucking rude to the DJs who I deeply love cause they are the only intelligent DJs in the fucking country and she kept defending herself instead of looking at it from the guy’s point of view.

Bitch….did you not think how much will it cost for him? Do you want him to keep paying for your fucking wedding for a long time while you waltz around in the name of being his wife? What guarantee is there that you’ll be loyal instead of fucking around with other douchebag when you find him boring in bed or too sissy for your liking? What the fuck can you offer?!?!?!

Can you offer perfection like this??? Nope...don't think so!

Now keep in mind before any feminist bitch starts screaming “Oh you are a male chauvinistic pig, blah blah blah”, shut the fuck up and listen to me properly, and go put a cock in your mouth or something.

I am not talking in the sense of being a male chauvinist. I respect females as much as they give me respect. I believe in women being able to handle things on their own, how they deserve things as well. But I do not believe in a one sided shit where one party has more say…that goes for men too. In this case of the pussy and his bitch, they can at least talk it out and reason things out, he wants ONE, she wants THREE, why not reason out and go for TWO?!?!?! And that’s also kind of giving, he still giving in to what she wants although not fully but the bitch can’t be satisfied with that obviously cause she wants to be the fucking queen. Who the fuck does she think she is??? And she has the cheek to say she’s angry with him, FUCKING BITCH! And I wonder what the pussy is doing now that she’s angry?

Definitely not this, cause this kinda requires NUTS

Here’s my solution…it’s pretty simple actually….and not long winded and all, just straight to the point.

Stand up! Face her! Talk it out as below : (and to be concise I will be labeling pussy as “P” and Bitch as “B”)

P : B, we need to discuss the wedding plans

B : What is it? There’s nothing to discuss, we are doing it MY WAY!

P : no we need to discuss it properly, your way of 3 ceremonies is a bit too expensive and unnecessary. We have to discuss this over again.

B: NO I WANT IT MY WAY

P : here’s my suggestion, we do two weddings instead cause it covers your family, my family, friends on the other hand can attend either.

B : No damnit! I want a BIG WEDDING Cause I AM A FUCKING QUEEN!

P : listen. it’s not feasible, it’s too expensive and we are gonna be paying for this, we need to setup a house, get a good car, run our lives, save for the kids

B : I don’t care, you are gonna bare it all so solve it however you want…I want my WEDDINGS MY WAY!

P : Hey I am trying to give you some space at least and not demanding it to be my way either, can you give that some though

B : NO! It’s a special day for me!

P : It’s a special day for me too

B : I don’t care

P : Alright fine, have it your way, with your next fiancee

B : WHAT?

P : You heard it bitch! Hastalavista baby!

B : You can’t dump me!!

P : Sez who?

B : I said so!

P : You and whose army bitch?

B : WHAT?

P : U heard me bitch! Pack up and fuck off, this is my house btw!

B : *Pretending tears* NOOO why do u do this? I love you, you love me

P : You love yourself more, so I love myself more too now. Fuck Off

B : NOOOOOO

P : YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Meet my New girlfriend!

Ommaya Kaboom!

END OF STORY!

See it’s so simple to solve this problem. You don’t need to be all douchy, give her an option, give a sound option where it works out for both parties. If she doesn’t budge, wave bye bye and find a new wench for yourself. Yes….as you would’ve realized the world is kinda overpopulated now, finding a woman should not be too much of a problem unless you live in the wrong village!

But to be honest, these guys are better than some bitches!

Yes so do yourself a favor pussy! Give her an ultimatum, give her options, if she does not budge, throw her away, focus on yourself, improve yourself, get a social life which you so obviously lost when you started dating this bitch and go out and have fun. Eventually some woman will come to you, because let’s face it, some of the worst looking fuckers out there are banging some bombshells as we see it today! I am sure you can find some bombshell of some sort!

Here's a shining example!

And that’s all

And for any feminist bitch who wants to scream, again I repeat…stuff a cock in your mouth!

Till Then

Fuck Off

If you try to save 20 bucks today think about the potential 2000 bucks you’ll spend tomorrow!

Now as you may have noticed beneath all my angry rants and raves, that I am a tech guy. I deal with systems and infrastructure and I am pretty fucking good at it!

I also pray to this guy daily

So besides being awesome in my job, I have to admit, I do a little moonlighting too!

This guy however became really hard to kill.....

Why you ask? Well I have ambitions….I want to drive an awesome car, own an awesome house, just be rich enough to laugh at other asshats who can’t earn as much as I am, I wanna slack off whenever I can and feel like it, I wanna own a tech company and I wanna be so powerful that I can call my users a bunch of morons and they will still worship me and the fucking ground I walk on!

Exhibit A : My inspiration to be an asshole...a rich one at that!

So I moonlight with another friend where we have our own (unofficial) company and we do services for smaller enterprises. We are two man company and we are good at what we do. We are the perfect pair when it comes to this. He does what he does best and I am simply awesome…..greatest partnership ever bitchez!!!

Fortunately, I am NOT too old for this shit yet....or are we?

So we got ourselves a couple of clients to start with and things are ok, well at least they appeared ok in the beginning which turned into some sortta fucked up living hell lately.

We have a particular dude who’s our client. He has a small company with maybe 5 staffs in it. His nature of business is more into finance. Now I can’t give more description or put names in it so I will be referring to him as KB, short for Kodiak Bear. This is because when he stands beside me, he’s like almost a foot taller than me and way bigger…hence Kodiak Bear suits him well.

Unfortunately he's not as awesome as this!

Now, keep in mind, I am not saying I am some small sized helpless shit here. When the need arises I can move like a butterfly and sting like a fucking bee!

Imagine this, in a smaller package...after all we're in the compact era of things right?

But we ain’t here to talk about how awesome or HOT I am. That can be discussed on another day! Today we are gonna discuss about KB…cause KB is the main cause of shittyness I am going through now…..fucking KB.

erm no wasn't talkin about u.....nice doggie...I mean BIG BEAR!!!

Now KB is a cheapskate. He’s the kind of guy who would try to milk a cow even after it’s dead simply cause the udder is still there. So here’s how it goes, he has a small office, he has some computers, which are FUCKING OLD they can barely run Windows XP on them. He has one piece of a miserable “server”, which is actually a desktop machine which is made to run like a fucking server. Fine we can’t blame everything on KB cause his previous vendor was a cheating bastard who cheated him like there was no tomorrow and gave him the shittiest of things you can ever imagine.

Something like this guy but less stylish

Anyway we took over after KB found out what a cunt the other cheating bastard is. So we thought KB is an innocent victim so we were nice to him and helped him out as much as possible to cover back whatever that was done.

Little did we know.....

We realized KB was a stingy fuckhead. He barely wanted to spend for anything. He had a firm whose core business is SENSITIVE fucking information pertaining to money and clients’ money. Basically his data is his asset and hang rope as well. He loose his data, he looses his asset and he might as well fucking kill himself!

Keeping a copy of this at his tableside might prove useful!

So what’s his security here? Well to start off with a small HOME router for the network without any other methods of protection…..FIRST FAIL! I am not saying he should buy a motherfucking god like Cisco Product to protect himself but at least he could’ve gone and done better than that!

Better than a FUCKING HOME ROUTER!

Next up, he has what is equal to a home desktop serving as his MAIN FUCKING SERVER which houses ALLLLLL HIS FUCKING DATA inside it! Again, I am not asking him to buy a fucking IBM Mainframe but he can at least invest in an entry level server which is supposed to FUCKING ACT LIKE A SERVER for Christ Sake!

Kids, this IS A SERVER! You want it to act like a Server, GET A FUCKING SERVER!

Next up, I proposed to him to get at least one or two UPS Unit, to at least cover the server during power surge, power failure or even fucking Thor going mad!

He can ruin your servers....seriously!

Next up, I proposed a backup solution…WHY? Cause your data is running in a shit hardware and you need a backup, after all your data is your fucking asset no? So the next logical step is to think on how to FUCKING PROTECT YOUR DATA!!! And my solution for this cheapskate was basically a simple nas box cause he refuses to pay for Licenses. A Nas box doesn’t require OS Licenses and all that. But nooooo Mr.Scrooge there just doesn’t want to spend more on these things THAT WILL SAVE HIM FROM POTENTIAL FUCKUPS!

On second thoughts, Scrooge was such a swell guy!

So his first fuckup was when his personal desktop got burned by a power surge in the building his office resides in. That would’ve sent FUCKING ALARMS in any sane person’s mind. But of course we are dealing with an idiot here who is so think he thinks miracles can happen just cause you think it can happen. And to top it all he wanted a cheaper solution which is to install a free backup solution into his desktop so the backup can run into his desktop. Now this moron forgot his desktop got burned and still wants to go the cheap way.

Either KB's cheap or has a shorter memory span than Guy Pearce

But you know what, his server burned up next, cause…A FUCKING POWER SURGE!!!! If there was a UPS, the chances of it happening would’ve been greatly reduced. But No…he doesn’t wanna spend….which brings us to the next problem, HIS DATA!!!

Yes way!

His DATA was fried along with the machine, at least half of it, which had to be sent to data recovery services which cost him a fucking bomb! Why? Cause he didn’t want to spend on simpler cheaper things like UPS and Backup devices. His data is highly confidential and critical but he had no brains to think of this instead decided to go frugal thinking it’s smart. Of course the data recovery guy is smiling his way to the bank.

Same smile...only difference, the bank walks to dear ol' Bill!

But here’s the difference, being frugal can be pulled off….if you are smart. If you are stupid, don’t try to be frugal, just spend cause people will do the thinking for you….brainless tard!

Before going frugal, invest in one of these.....

This is where I finally exclaim “I’m too old for this shit!”

I feel Murtaugh's pain

And someday I just wanna throw it all away and run away to New Zealand and herd a bunch of killer sheeps!

Awww look at that sheep, so cute and evil and all......

So that’s all I gotta say about KB….

Fuck Off

My addiction

Lately I found something that amuses me and I enjoy it to the core, Trolling! Basically it’s where we just go to boards and flame everyone posting shitty posts and all, it’s just plain fun. I am not sure about the other assholes posting there but I find it just fucking fun!

Something like this

And the avenue for this is 4Chan….I love 4chan! It’s anonymous and we are free to troll as much as we want, with a sense of humor and well all other senses too of course.

My new muse!

I get to bitch about anything and everything there. I am not saying I am one of those bitter guys who are racist and whatever there, but I admit I join in cause it’s shit fun!

Definitely more fun than this piece of trash!

But it’s bad I tell you…..It gets so bad I get so fucking addicted to it, like a meth addict!

Something like this but I am definitely hotter

So this shit happened today.

I was like so into trolling earlier in my office you know. Trolling to people about technology, trolling about their relationship advices, trolling about everything, basically having fun stabbing people in the face and laughing at them about it. Like the greatest douche ever lived kinda thing….I get that feeling….I am such an awesome douchebag!

My main inspiration of douchyness!

So I was trolling like a douchebag in my office, my colleagues and my bosses are around btw….such an awesome place I tell you, they allow me to be a douchebag during workhours…I mean how awesome is this right?

This is how I am at work! And my bosses love it!

So anyway, I was so into trolling at one point I heard this REALLY loud noise! I didn’t know what the fuck was that but I didn’t wanna turn my face away from the browser while it’s refreshing cause comments just keep pouring in every fucking second…I CAN’T FUCKING MISS IT!!!

This is how I look like behind the computer

And then the next minute my boss comes in, taps me on the shoulder and asks me “What happened????”, I had no clue what the fuck was he talking about. And then I realised my other colleagues were like kinda moved away from this one colleague who has completely gone postal and was screaming in the phone with someone….like fucking loud!!! So loud Chester Bennington would fucking fear when he hears this guy!

He just crapped in his pants listening to my colleague

So he was screaming away and I didn’t realize this shit….the guy was literally sitting in the cubicle in front of me and I didn’t realize this. I doubt I would’ve realized even if Kratos was there!

OMG!!!! Oh wait new post!!!

So well I looked at my postal colleague for a while, then…..went back to trolling.

Cause……fuck it, trolling is way better!

So Till then

Fuck Off

My childhood is ruined by boobs!

Well I am back, after a while, I was too busy for the week and too much of crap has been happening lately I just didn’t know what to write about. I mean I was spoilt for choices and pretty much was confused on what crap to write on….

I understand how this one felt too

But today I picked to talk about Sesame Street…..most of us grew up with Sesame Street right? So yeah I grew up with it too and I kinda liked Elmo a lot, yes…I was a kid and I used to like cute things, live with it! I also liked G.I.Joe and Mask btw but that will come some other day. So yeah I loved Elmo, I loved Sesame Street oh yea and I liked The Count too….ha ha ha, 1 Douchebag, ha ha ha, 2 Douchebag….yes That Count!

One fucktard! Two fucktard! ha ha ha ha

Now Sesame Street was pretty educational I must admit, for my age back then at least. And probably even today I would enjoy Sesame Street whenever I watch it. It’s just a great show, produced well, has great values and teaches us stuff that sometimes we just overlook. Yeah counting is overlooked at times, spelling is overlooked, but with Sesame Street these things are integrated so well that we still learn from them. Now I am not being paid to advertise these guys, I am just saying how good the show is….or was!

*sniff* *sniff* I miss you Elmo!!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!!

Until about a week or two ago, I held Sesame Street with the highest regard. Very rarely any TV Show, movie or anything for that matter gets the highest regard for me. But I held Sesame Street equally as high as Lord of the Rings is to me!

Aragorn and SuperGrover were the greatest heroes EVAAAAARRRRR!!!!

But now I do not view Sesame Street as I used to anymore! I now despise Sesame Street so deeply even Sauron would cringe at my RAGE!

He just pooped his metal pants!

Why?!?!?! Why you ask??? It’s simple!

There’s just one reason why I despise Sesame Street so fucking much now! And it’s because of THIS:

This BI...OMG Look at those babies there!!! *ehem* where was I???

Yes, this bitch with her healthy set of knockers ruined Sesame Street for me!

The story is this, the segment where she performs with Elmo (WHY THE FUCK ELMO?!?!?!) and this is supposed to be aired during New Year’s Eve, and she apparently sings a “cleaned” up version of Hot and Cold….HOW MUCH CAN YOU POSSIBLY CLEAN THE FUCKING SONG UP??!?!?!

And looks like probably someone just couldn’t stand this shit anymore and hence released the videos to youtube, THANK FUCKING GOD FOR YOUTUBE!

I love You

Right after that youtube was flooded with shitloads of complaints regarding this. Like Duh! She was wearing a top which practically showed almost all of her TITS and Sesame Street went on to shoot this shit?!?!?

Look at them babies! Elmo looks like he just let go

It’s a kid’s program not a whore idol showcase! What the fuck is wrong with the producers? You could’ve invited at least a dozen other artists who at least appear a little more decent for a kid’s program! And while I fucking hate to admit it, yes, Taylor Swift would’ve been A LOT FUCKING BETTER! Cause despite the fact she’s as boring as watching paint dry….at least she’s decent!

Not that she has anything to look at anyway

But if they insist on someone like Ms.Booby Perry, well there’s the WAY FUCKING HOTTER AND TALENTED version called Zooey Deschanel, who’s BOTH HOTTER AND MORE FUCKING DECENT compared to “LOOK AT MY FUCKING BOOBS NOT THE SONG” Perry!

Uber Gorgeous, no awkward boobs crying to spill out anytime.....

But nooooooo, the retards outside prefer “Melons” Perry cause her shitty songs always play in the radio 24/7 despite the fact her lyrics don’t make sense and are total rubbish! Ever heard the song where she equated indie to gay??? Nope….cause retards NEVER listen to lyrics, they just jive or do whatever shit they do while listening to trash written specifically for their retarded brains!

She has no class, her songs are trashy shit made to appear different cause she comes out in ALL her fucking videos with her BOOBS literally CRYING…FUCKING CRYING to spill out cause she’s just suffocating those poor things to death! FUCK I’ve even seen women with bigger more gracious knockers who are more lenient to their knockers for cryin out loud!

Look at those, sitting there so comfortably! This is what you call confidence!

Heck Sesame Street could’ve called Christina Hendricks as a guest and she can still be more decent….she doesn’t need to pop them out!

And do not forget Booby Perry’s lack of class by dating an immortal jackass out of the neolithic period for fuck’s sake!

Neolithic who doesn't shave and do his hair but has his eyebrows done.....FUCK!

I am just pretty upset with the fact that they allowed her…OF ALL PEOPLE….to appear in a kid’s program…KNOWING her habits of suffocating her boobs and making them pop out like a dying fish in the middle of the gulf oil crisis!

Look at those poor things!

Why not go all the way and hire Sacha Baron Cohen playing as Bruno or Borat…cause he is at least talented if you want to be obscene about it!!!

Greatest Man that ever Lived!

But NOOOOOOO they MUST invite her and turn Sesame Street in Sesame Eating Whores Street!

Speaking of whores...here's another candidate for you Sesame Street!

So that’s all, that’s all I wanna rant about. I am not gonna watch Sesame Street anymore, not gonna view it the same way anymore. I will find some other kid’s program to enjoy from now ON!!! *sob* *sob*

Yay I found my favorite Kid's Program!

So Till Then

Fuck Off