Foursquare, Fuck You!

My work demands that I travel every fucking part of my city, to the point I can now drive through unknown shortcuts while jacking off to a picture of myself.

Something like this, as I can't put up a picture of myself jacking off to myself...some sensitive people will call it "porn" and cry like the faggots they are

So usually when I travel around I love to put up in my Facebook status and Twitter on my location. This is to let people know where I am and also if anyone so happens to be nearby, they can proceed to find me and buy me a great lunch!…..and also it’s a narcissistic necessity that I put important on what I was doing and where I am so everyone can know this. Every other self centered bastard would know how this feels….very sweet to be honest.

I am pretty sure this guy would empathize very well with me

But you know updating facebook and twitter status while I am on the move was kinda of a bitch at times. I was getting lazy to log on to both and update them and also I never linked my Facebook and Twitter in anyway simply because my Facebook account was filled with morons and my Twitter account is filled with….a lot of people who I have abso-fucking-lutely no clue on who the fuck they are….but I like them anyway.

My Twitter Life is like this

So I need something that can update both at the same time, from the same place. Something that is handy and fun to use without feeling like a moron. And Location based apps are the BUZZZZZZ.

Enter FourSquare, my savior, I was able to update where was I by just clicking the place, for example “I am at 7th Layer of Hell”…’s so easy, I don’t even need to type out the whole “7th Layer of Hell” in Facebook or Twitter, if the place exists in Foursquare I just need to check in, if it does not I just create it as long as I am nearby the spot I just check in and voila, my Facebook’s updated, My Twitter’s updated and my narcissist self becomes happier.

With my head held up high like this

I also noticed FourSquare’s like a game. Where people check in places and gain points to overtake each other, get trophies and mayorships and all that shit. I mean hey, what harm can a game do right? So I just join in, gaining mayorships, trophies, points that don’t actually reward you with anything like crunking Japanese girls at your side or anything like that.

This would've made FourSquare rule the fucking planet! Too bad!

But hey, it totally baited my narcissistic side and I fell for it….so like everyone else I competed in check ins trying gain points but like an honest narcissistic person, I thrived on maintaining my pride as a legit nerd so I only checked in when it’s really legit to check in at places and didn’t cheat at these things cause my pride rides on it.

Oops...wrong pride!

But then something annoying happened. I noticed some fuckers in the same city as me doing insane rapid check ins and gaining points really far and that really got my narcissistic side a bit pissed off. So I decided to up my game, since I travel a lot, I am sure I can check in to more places too, like for example a building and then the shops inside it and stuff, I mean if others are doing it, kinda logical I can do it too right? Besides I was really passing these places and all I thought hey….I guess it’s legit. I was just innocently assuming these.

Little did I know......

So I upped my game. And guess what happened? Every few checkins (which were like 10 minutes apart AT LEAST!!!) , I start getting this “Oh no points for you cause you are fucking rapid checking in) alert and I will be unable to collect points for the next couple of hours or so. Ok nevermind I thought maybe it’s fair, I was doing it too fast or something, so I slowed it down a little. But the shit still kept happening to me. At one point, I left it off for like motherfucking 7 hours and tried checking in again, and the fucking app still said I am doing rapid checkins. Now this fucking pissed me off!

If I can get blessings from Marvel, he will be the official Mascot for my Angry life.

This is where my narcissism finally decides to save me. Firstly I do not like being treated like shit when I voluntarily support or buy products unless I am doing massive mistakes. I do not like CEOs that call me a moron despite buying his product like a stupid retarded fuckface.

Just in case you didn't get the hint....

And what narcissism that drove me to go FourSquare(which probably what the fuckers at FourSquare were also betting on) finally turned against them and told me “Stop fucking using this thing that politely calls you a fucking cheater”

erm....wrong cheater.

And hence now, I have already quit FourSquare for the past few days and feel good about myself. I don’t need that piece of shit anymore as I am using something a lot more fun called Gowalla. It serves my purpose to update my location, it’s just plain fun and it does not pit me against other people to fuel my narcissism cause I am awesome hence I don’t need to pit against anyone.

Yeap I take his words seriously!

So right now I say, Fuck You FourSquare, while others can cheat, you nicely try to call me a cheater??? Fuck You!

Well Hello AssHole!

I am through with you, so bye bye DickBags!

Till Then

Fuck Off

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