“I had to pick my jaw up from the floor” Awesome : an Inception Review

Just watched Inception last night.

Briefly for those who were in another planet, Inception is by Christopher Nolan(who will be referred to as LORD from here onwards), who has been doing awesome stuff like Memento, The Prestige, Insomnia and for those who are still clueless, he did both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight with Christian Bale.

Suck it Jacob!

Inception …… what do I say….it blew my mind…it fucked my mind up….so hard even Batman would’ve been disoriented for a while.

Bruce Wayne....post-Inception

The basis of the story is dreams. And a dude who dives into dreams to steal ideas or secrets. And he’s a messed up dude at that. He screws up one job cause of mental baggage issues and he has a chance to escape out of it so he assembles a team of people along with his old partner to go dive into another guy’s mind to PLANT an idea…and that’s called Inception. Is it possible? Dude says it’s possible, he’s done it before….we don’t know to who, why and when and what was the result of it. And from there the story unfolds itself brilliantly. It isn’t just the characters that are so awesome, the movie itself has a life of its own, brainfucking us at every corner possible. The visuals are insane, and the LORD’s style of doing things without CG where possible is batshit insane. And by insane I mean I am lost for words on how to describe it, good,wonderful,beautiful, whatever…those words can’t fit in….I thought insane sounded cooler anyway. The score for the movie will remind you a lot of Dark Knight but I am not saying it’s just ripped off from there, it’s just the flavor, it has the Dark Knight flavor but it also blew my mind away. From the beginning to the end I was riveted throughout the movie as the plot went layer after layer and not keeping me lost anywhere in between. The LORD makes a good point at explaining to us what exactly is going on, within the storyline itself, hence everything is smooth, the plot runs well while we are kept abreast with the situation that is going on. A second or third viewing would be good to grasp the full concept of the whole thing but that should be fine I guess….anyone slower than that should just go watch Twilight.

Anyway I am not gonna give a long review here I am just going straight to the awesome parts.

Awesome Things about this movie :

The Cast

Apparently he starred in Titanic.

Mr.Titanic was fully impressive as he always is (except for being in Titanic itself). He fits the role perfectly, he conveyed his screwed up mind so perfectly to the point, I really do not want to work with a dick like this if I were to be in his line of job.

Lady Marion, I would still have a boner over you even if you were holding a bloody kitchen knife with a murderous look in your eyes.....

Here’s my summary of Marion Cottilard

Marion Cottilard – HOT

Marion Cottilard with a murderous rage – still HOT

Never have I been extremely freaked out by a woman without any demon makeup since Kathy Bates in Misery. And Marion Cottilard upped the game by being insanely hot.  Her menacing and malicious looks were pretty freaky, pretty fucking real, most of the time I just kept thinking she might reach out of the fucking screen and stab me for the heck of it. At the same time she was so elegant and classy, I can’t say no if she asked me ” Can I fucking stab you?”… She’s THAT GOOD!!!!

Yeap..it's the dude from 3rd Rock From the Sun...believe it!

I was pretty worried lately with all the girly, sissy male stars bursting into the scene that I thought the likes of Christian Bale will be the last proper manly action stars. Then when he gets old, my worst fears will come true, he will start playing daddy roles to sissies like those two in Twilight. But my doubts were crushed with Joseph Gorden Levitt. We found a new action star with Joseph (it’s the dude from 3rd Rock from the Sun), and I gotta say, I am fucking impressed with him. His character? Ultra fucking cool, so fucking cool, his character deserves a god damn spinoff from Inception starring just him alone being ultra fucking cool. PERIOD!

Tom Hardy - Saiyan Mode!

Yes, that’s Tom Hardy, while I could’ve put up more handsome pictures of him, I just thought this picture of him from his movie Bronson, is so fucking awesome. Now keep this in mind and add some hair, take out the mustache and give him a big fucking gun with clever English one liners…that’s what you get in Inception. However this picture is still fucking cool. His character in Inception also god damn deserves a spin off. I really couldn’t believe this was the guy doing the slow gay dance with Leonidas in RocknRolla!

Shadowcat...I mean Ellen Page

Shadowcat’s back! And this time she isn’t running through walls, she’s building walls…more like folding a god damn city to the point it had Mr.Titanic almost pee in his pants. Ellen Page was awesome here, still cute as ever, at times making me feel like I should get into a pedobear costume cause she still looks like a school girl to me. She still looks so young she could keep playing a teenage girl for the rest of her life. At least she didn’t end up in a shitty movie as a fickle minded bitc who can’t make up her mind who to get laid with right?

Do yu feel rucky punk???

Ken Watanabe is what you get when you stick a friggin samurai in a Dolce Suit…which is…a friggin Samurai in a Dolce Suit! He’s so badass, so awesomely cool and he looks like a 50 year old man who can beat your 18 year old ass back to momma! He plays….a superpowered Japanese man who makes mr.Titanic do his deed cause mr.Titanic while being awesome, simply ain’t as awesome as a friggin samurai in a Dolce Suit. PERIOD!

the LORD

The movie was in such a grandscale that with any single cock up the movie would’ve gone suckier than The Last Airbender. But the LORD held it together so firmly, so well crafted and well organized, there’s no way any cockup can happen in this movie. I am currently in the process of building a statue of this man for worship. nuff said.

Other awesome points :

Less CG more substance, the LORD made it a point to really choreograph scenes where possible without CG, and holy shit I was stunned at what he did, go fucking watch it yourself

No fucking 3D marketing which again treats us like intelligent viewers who do not need retarded shit for entertainment

Fantastic Score, the buildup of the score brings your heart right to your throat and then drops it back down

Gripping storyline, I am not sure but I don’t think i winked my eyes at all throughout the movie, I was THAT gripped

Engages you fully, you’ll never get lost in the movie despite it’s complex nature, everything is explained to you IN FRONT OF YOU!

Brings you into panic mode, watch it, I am not gonna say it

Fucks the shit out of your mind, looks like it came from inside Joker’s mind

Now the shitty part of the movie :

…………erm I can’t think of any shitty part of the movie….It’s so perfect I can’t point any shitty part of it…..

But to be fair to movies like Twilight, I will make up a shitty part of the movie

Guess Starring : Agent of Chaos

The could’ve inserted the Agent of Chaos into any layer of the movie to fuck our minds further. End of Story.

With that the review of this insane movie has ended. Go watch yourselves instead of seeking reviews to see first before watching cause “I might not know if this movie’s good”, coming from the same pricks who watched Twilight without reading reviews first, that’s bloody idiotic. So go watch it and worship Christopher Nolan like I am, cause I am awesome. And I wish he does Dark Knight fucking part 3 the same way this is done.

Till Then

Fuck Off

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: